REPENTANCE - Episode IV

Days rolled by and it had been close to 7 months now. Haritha made a few decisions not to think about her past and was getting accustomed to the new life. One evening she was checking her mails. There were around ten mails floating on top of her mailbox received in the past one week, all from the same person. Yes, they were from Vimal, Haritha’s ex boy friend. She was so thrilled for a moment but then realised that she did not belong to him anymore.

She decided to delete all of them at one shot, but that was not easy for her to do. She quickly clicked on one of them which read,

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’’ Just a formal Hi or an affectionate dear, I don’t know how to address you Haritha. I can only blame my fate and bad luck. It’s too late now and I have been living a depressed life all through. It is just too hard to be away from you and I mean it.

I know you will be surprised to receive a letter from me but I had no choice. Your thoughts have been constantly running in my mind for months now gushing like a wind in my heart. Every time I think of you, I am hit with conflicting emotions and I do not know how to express myself. My day starts and ends with you.

My passion towards you in an extreme state can be scary; I know you would almost want to shut it away for the fear that it will eventually destroy you. But, I can only think of my feelings and love for you. You opened my eyes and made me realise how love should feel. Now when I wish to perceive it the way you wanted me to see, you’re not with me.

Even though sadness and desperation are with me all the time, I always hope that you would drive them out from my life. I apologize to you a thousand times. Please do not consider this mail as nonsense. I know it is ridiculous but I m crying in pain.

Haritha, can you imagine the pain of something that you had virtually owned for years, now being snatched away? That is how I lost you. I only want you to be with me as a friend, and help me cope up with my life. This sentence may sound really funny.... but I m forced to name it this way.

All that I want is to hear from you once. Will you speak to me? Don’t leave me alone. Understand that I m not being a barrier between you and your partner, I m just pleading you not to jump out of your past life when I m still drowning in it.

Haritha’s Vimal (Couldn’t help this one Haritha)

(This was the signature Vimal used when they shared mails before her marriage)

At this juncture, Haritha was all tears. She at once logged off. Her head began to spin and she was unable to rest at one place. But she was not emotionally strong to delete the mail. The night went by and she dint reveal this to her husband. The next morn she again sat down to read it. This time she was much more patient and intended to reply as well.

Vimal,

I don’t want you to suffer. It’s high time now for you to realise that we are more like strangers because of the kind of past relationship we had, which cannot transform and take any shape now. Please have a positive approach towards your life and I ll pray for you. Take care.

Bye,

Haritha

Though Haritha made her mail simple and clear, she felt like speaking lots to Vimal. She made herself aware of the position she was in. She didn’t want to invite trouble into her smoothly running life as she was happy with Aurav’s approach on this issue. She tried to forget but with slight anticipation, she kept checking her mails for Vimal’s reply. At times her mind became numb about the thoughts of her present life and she frequently remembered her past.

As expected she did receive a mail back from Vimal.

Haritha,

I am really happy. Thanks for the reply. It feels as if I m isolated from everyone and worried that I would die without hearing your voice. Can you please call me once? Just once and then I am deciding on my destiny. I m waiting.....Please don’t make this wait unsuccessful like the one I made for you and finally gave up.

Call me at +07433356798

Vimal

This time it was tough for Haritha. She was not for it. She had a wavering mind and realised that it wouldn’t be right if she decided to speak to him. Some gut feeling in her kept forcing her to call him but she was very conscious not to. She tried to be ignorant about this but she really couldn’t. Finally after a lot of thinking, it was just NO, NO and NO. She kept receiving mails from Vimal for the next 3 days, requesting her to call him.

This didn’t seem to end and so Haritha gave up. She as well couldn’t rest her mind in anything. ‘’Let me call him once and get everything sorted’’, she said to herself. The next day as soon as Aurav left to work, she took her mobile and started dialing Vimal’s number. It was too early to call him, thinking of this, she finished all her work and then called him. The mobile rang thrice and reached voice mail. She dropped the call and in a few minutes, she got a call. Vimal’s number was flashing on her mobile screen.

Haritha was very nervous. Her Heart beat tremendously fast. With slightly trembling fingers, she pressed the green button on her phone.